Do All Old People Sleep in Separate Beds?

So, this is my bed after I have gotten up.  I am beginning to understand why old people sleep in separate beds.  It is so they can S L E E P!!!  Between the tossing and turning, aching joints and back, and that guy next to me snoring, and of course the dog, it's no wonder I don't sleep!  And this is only one dog - there is another that sleeps there as well.  I am awakened once per night by each dog, and not at the same time, to go out and do their business.  But they can't just do their business and come right back in - they have to wonder around before and after while I am sternly calling them back in. By this time, I am totally awake.  Then, when you add the 2 times I have to do my business in the night, that's 4 times a night I get up.  And for you non-dog people, when 2 people share the blankets, it's fine. But when 2 dogs lay between you, they make the blankets go down where they are laying and then back up to cover you, leaving about 6" of you not covered.  So then begins the tug of war to either get the dog to move, or maneuver the blankets all the way back to the edge of the bed on your side.  And one of the dogs manages to drink all the water sometime in the night (which may be why they have to go out then, too) and then the little one barks incessantly until you refill the water bowl.  So, by the time I get up during one of the "business" trips, I am thankful when it is finally 4:30, because I can sort-of justify going ahead and getting up. If I don't get up then, I lay in bed thinking, "Well, I only have an hour until I would get up anyway, so if I got up now, I could get something extra done around the house".  So, I am thinking, if we had separate beds, and we each had 1 dog, that would eliminate one of the getting up trips in the night, as well as the blanket war.  And the only snoring would be my own, which I am OK with.   Hmmmm.

'Tis The Season

Well, the Christmas season is officially upon us.  Hopefully we all survived Black Friday and Cyber Monday!  Those who know me, know I have had my tree up since November 1, have my TV tuned to the Hallmark Channel for continuous Christmas movies, and have been listening to Christmas since mid-October.  I just LOVE this time of year!
It just seems people are a little bit more generous.  A little more friendly.  A little more spirited.  Who doesn't love Christmas?  It brings back so many memories, and specific songs, or a certain decoration, even a smell sends me back to years ago with big family gatherings.  Every year, as I unpack my ornaments and decorations, I get to re-live those special moments.  I still display a little plastic Santa and reindeer that was my mom's many years ago, as well as a little tiny ceramic Santa cup.  Our tree still gets adorned with the "paper-plate dove" Courtney made when she was 3 - Kind of ugly, and well-worn, but it must go on the tree. One year, my mom let the kids make "ornaments" - pictures of them glued onto construction paper and embellished with ribbon and bells - they must go on the tree as well. 
And how I remember our family Christmases.  Many years ago, we would go to my great grandma's house where there was never enough chairs, but no one cared.  We would get to see relatives from out of town that we only saw once a year.  Cousins played like it was only yesterday since we saw each other.  Later, the gatherings moved to my parents' house.  Some of my best memories were when everyone brought whatever instrument they played, and we picked and strummed and played and sang for hours.  There may have been gifts, but the time spent with family is what I remember.  Seems like life was a lot slower back then.  And we weren't distracted by beeping cell phones or computers.  We just enjoyed each others' company. 
But let us not forget the reason for the celebration - The birth of Jesus Christ.  A King, sent to earth to be born in a lowly manger with no frills, and yet everyone knew this baby was special.  Miraculously conceived, born to average parents, but groomed for greatness by God Himself.  A child who grew up being wise beyond his years, and who grew up perfect.  A Man, who touched and healed the unclean, dined with sinners and prostitutes, gave sight to the blind, performed countless miracles, and yet was condemned to die by the very people he had helped.  A Man, who, knowing his fate, and having been tempted in every way, continued to live a perfect and holy life, according to God's plan.  A Man who willingly carried the cross he would die upon to the place he would die.  A Man who cried out to his Father even unto death to forgive those who were killing Him.  A Man who bore the sins of the world on his shoulders, offering Himself as a sacrifice and the propitiation for our sins, taking our place and offering us a gift none of us deserve.  A Man who arose from the grave three days after his death, and ascended to Heaven, conquering death and providing us a way to have eternal life in Heaven with Him someday. 
Yes, I LOVE Christmas. But I LOVE the reason even more!

Black Friday Adventures

Well, Thanksgiving Day is tomorrow! Which can only mean one thing....BLACK FRIDAY!!! I know there are varying opinions of Black Friday, but if you have never gone, you should one time in your life, just to watch all those crazy people!!  Actually, it should be called "Get one item at a great price and stand in line for 3 hours to check out" Day.
This is a time when people who have just spent the day giving thanks for all the many blessings they have don their cold-weather gear and prepare to stand in the cold for the mere opportunity to act like a herd of stampeding cattle.  Wal-mart is the best!  You get to stand inside, smashed together with people you don't know, anxiously awaiting the bell to sound, to begin the stampede. If I had the means to climb a tall ladder and video tape, I would.  For it is a sight to behold.
Here is how it goes, everytime I have gone to Wal-mart: You have to get there at least an hour prior to sale time.  This allows you to scope out the store and pick your most strategic spot to wait.  So, you find that one thing you can't live without.  Of course, 100 other people can't live without it, either.  It is wrapped in clear shrink-wrap.  You can see it, just can't have it yet.  The rule is, when the bell sounds, the employees unwrap or cut the wrap and then you can grab your item.  However, that is not usually how it goes.  There are always 2 people (always women) who try the sneaky-peeky.  They stand abnormally close to the shrink-wrapped pallet and casually, non-chalantly, begin messing with the shrink wrap with their fingers, as their eyes look elsewhere, on the lookout for any employee who might stop them.  Gradually, they find an opening in the wrap and begin making the hole bigger and bigger, until it is finally big enough for the item to come out.  Now, they don't actually take it out yet - that would be obvious.  But as time draws closer, they start to plan a strategy of which hand to use to retrieve it the fastest.  And how they can get multiple items and throw (yes, throw) to their friend with the cart several feet away.  Then other people begin to notice.  So they start proposing trades:  "I'll pull a blue one from my side and throw to you, and you pull two red ones from your side and throw to me".  Finally, everyone has a plan.  Now, this is roughly about 15-20 minutes until bell time.  When it gets down to 5 minutes, the crowd begins to close in.  Last year, during this time, I was in the middle - I was smashed against people in front of me, people behind me were touching me, as well as people on both sides.  Someone, no way to tell who, had GAS.  Now I'm faced with 2 options - move and give up my long-awaited place in the pile of bodies, or just stand there like an idiot and endure the odor.  Let's just say, I ended up with my item.  Once the bell sounds the employees are nearly trampled as the mosh pit moves even closer.  And items - even big heavy items - begin being lofted into the air, some aimed, and some just randomly thrown.  Yelling begins - partly to direct throwers to their friends in outlying areas, and partly between angry patrons when someone's hand reaches in from below to grab the item they were going to get.  Remember, this is all just hours after we thanked God for all that we have.
Now, here's the best part!  You finally get your treasure, in your hands, and turn and........NOTHING!!! People are packed so tight, you can't move.  Once you break free from the mob you were in, every aisle is blocked with another mob.  So you are pretty much limited to one thing due to traffic obstructions. Then, after all that, you get to stand in the check out line for an eternity just to leave the store! 
I think I will let others have Black Friday this year.  I will sleep in, enjoy my day off and watch Facebook for the pictures I know will be coming!
Happy Thanksgiving!!

Lost Socks Searching for Sole Mates

I just love the feel of new socks.  Weird, I know.  But there's something about brand new socks - so soft & cushy.  But when I wear socks, they have to be just right.  The seam can't actually be touching any of my toes or it will rub when I put my shoe on. And the heel has to be positioned so when I put my shoes on it doesn't rise up out of my shoes.  That's just a little background.
I sat down on the couch last night and glanced over at my husband's feet. I am sure I have some form of OCD, but only about weird things. He has on two DIFFERENT socks!  One of them are MINE and the other it his, but it's on wrong-side out and twisted.  I can barely stand to sit there just knowing the state his feet are in!  Seams running wrong directions, all over his toes.  So I say, "Do you know you have on two different socks, and one of them is mine, and the other is wrong-side out?"  The reply - "Ya, I couldn't find two alike to I just grabbed a couple." 
I suppose somewhere between my weird OCD and his total lack of requirements for anything we must balance each other out!

Where Can I Buy Some Liquid Cork?

Well, there they are.  The culprits of my morning surprises!  Nearly every morning, I get up and stumble into the living room and there it is.  Poop.  I know it's going to be there, but I have this small shred of hope it won't.  Why, why do I torture myself with the thought that I can just wander through the living room without watching the floor?  Some mornings, I just can't bring myself to clean it at 5:00 a.m., so I just wander right back out, pretending it's not there, but knowing I'll be back after I've had a cup of coffee to wake me up. 
Yesterday, I was at the end of my rope.  We have two dogs, and neither one will ever confess, so I just yell at them both.  But yesterday, I finally got my proof.  It is both of them.  TWO separate piles, I knew it!  They are both conspiring against me!  But the bonus came, when on further inspection, I discovered TWO puddles of pee!  Both of them on CHRISTMAS PRESENTS!  So I carefully removed the wet, dripping wrapping paper to see if it had soaked through to the gifts.  Fortunately, it had not.  More yelling.  They always look sorry, but behind that is the anticipation of waiting for the next time they can leave a calling card. 
My message to these two:  If you think you are getting a Christmas present this year, you are sadly mistaken.  And I know you are used to sleeping in the warmth of a bed at night, but you are about to discover the cold garage floor! I am sick of smelling this and seeing this day after day. So this is your last warning.  And you should know that I have posted a "Free Dog" ad on facebook.  So far, haven't had any takers, but first one I get wins the prize!

Smoke 'Em, Buddy, Smoke 'Em

I never cease to be amazed at people!  I got in a car in our front parking lot to pull it into our shop, and noticed a man walking on the sidewalk.  I thought he was going into the smoker's outlet store next door to us, but saw him set a bag down in front of our business and then walk next door.  He then proceeded to dig through the sandy cigarette butts in the receptacle just outside the smoke shop and light them up!
Now, I am a smoker.  And there have been times, when I have run out late at night, or whatever and dug through MY butts and smoked them (yes, I know - pathetic), but I darn sure am not putting my mouth on someone elses!

PICK UP YOUR CLOTHES, FOR PETE'S SAKE!

Is it just my husband, or are they all the same?  We have a hamper in our bedroom, the bathroom, and the utility room.  So, when the dis-robing begins, you should be near one no matter where you are.  At present, there are socks and clothes strewn about our bedroom floor, socks & a shirt in the living room floor, and in the bathroom, a pair of camo pants that I think have been there for 3 weeks now.  I refuse to pick them up any more!!! A couple of times in the past, I have washed my husband's billfold, and he got all upset because the jeans in the floor hadn't been emptied yet.  So my new statement was, if it's not in the hamper, it's not getting washed.  A few times, he has had no jeans to wear because they were all dirty and laying around the floor.  In addition, my son's dog loves to "eat" his socks.  He doesn't eat my socks, because they are in the hamper.  One would think after 5-6 pairs being destroyed, one would make sure to pick them up and put them in the hamper. Not so much at our house.  Each morning, I see the sock drawer being pulled farther out and dug through in the search for a pair of in-tact socks.  Is it too much to ask that instead of throwing your clothes on the floor AROUND the hamper, you just put them in?  I pick them up to sweep and then put them back where I found them.  I am trying to make a point, but how long should this go on?  Weeks? Months? I am not the "queen of clean" by any means.  But this is totally driving me crazy!!

Clean-up on Aisle Seven!!

So, I am pretty sure if I ever have "road rage" it will be not on the road, but at Wal-mart!  I swear, I think someone radio's ahead and tells people to stop and visit in front of every last thing I am going for!  I too have stopped to chat with someone along the aisle, but I try to be conscious of people coming up behind me and move out of the way if it appears they want something I am standing in front of.  I have tried standing there staring at the people, saying, "Excuse Me" and a host of other things to get people to move.  The best are the label-readers.  They park their cart on one side of the aisle and then go and stand on the other side to read the label of whatever they are buying.  Just get it, for Pete's sake!  I have to admit, when I go there, I am usually on a dead run because I have such little time to grocery shop, but even when I stop to browse a section, I am only in that spot for maybe 30-45 seconds.  These people have stood there for 5 minutes!  And what's with the motorized wheel chair carts?  Those people stop diagonally in the middle of the aisle, so you can't go on either side of them! And I don't know about other areas, but at our Wal-Mart the people using the store's wheel chairs don't exactly look handicapped.  Since I have reached "middle age", I don't sleep well, and I have found the best time to go is about 6:30 in the morning.  There is no one to go around and no lines at the check-out!!

Too Much Poo!

So, we have two inside dogs, a chihuahua, and a beagle-chihuahua mix.  The latter is not yet 2 years old.  I don't understand the deal with poop in the floor.  We talk about it, we scold when it happens, we put him out regularly, yet I get up in the morning and there it is.  Fortunately, the size usually dictates who the culprit is, so I know who to ask about it.  He always looks sorry, but not sorry enough to stop.  My daughter has an American Eskimo, and this one has fly-away hair that sheds like nobody's business, and is also a nervous pee-er.  Scold her, and you have pee in the floor, no matter what.  So, I know nothing will change this short of lining them up and shooting all of them, but it aggravates me just the same.  I go home to get rest, and it feels like I am the zookeeper!