Is everyone in America 5 years old?

     I am so sick of hearing about radical acts by radical groups and radical people blaming everyone except the guilty parties!  If someone tears down an historic statue, they should be charged with destruction of property and sentenced.  Not the group they represented, for that group did not choose to act in violence.  Just the person(s) doing the destruction.  If someone runs over people, they should be charged with a crime and sentenced, for they purposely chose their actions, and should have to endure the consequences.
     Apparently, in this great Land of the Free, we are free to destroy other people's property, and we are free to interrupt people trying to conduct business and earn a living, and we are free to violently assemble, and we are free to publicly condemn someone and sue them for not believing as someone else does, all in the name of freedom.  Is that right?
     Isn't is possible that the people holding a "Black Lives Matter" rally do not, in fact, represent all black people?  Isn't it possible that people holding a "White Supremacy" rally do not, in fact, represent all white people?  Isn't it possible that destroying someone else's property is NEVER alright?  Isn't is possible that if someone doesn't want to do business with you, you take your business somewhere else?
     You are free to think and say whatever you like.  And I can agree or disagree with you.  But don't call me a bigot because I don't celebrate whatever your cause is.  That is my right, just as you have the right to plea approval for your cause, whatever it may be. If I disagree with you, let me alone!  Don't keep trying to persuade me not only to tolerate you and your behavior that I disagree with, but to celebrate and proclaim how wonderful it is.
     I have my own morals and beliefs and religion that I follow.  I do not pressure or demonstrate to try and force others to believe exactly as I do.  If you want to live an alternate life style, that is your choice.  I disagree with you.  I disagree with your lifestyle.  Let me have the freedom to disagree.
     I may like you or I may dislike you.  It might be because of your beliefs, actions, lifestyle, religion, etc.  And yes, it could even be because of your race.  You may like or dislike me for all the very same reasons.  There is NO RULE that says everyone must like you and celebrate your existence!  You will not be everyone's cup of tea.  That's called life.  Didn't you learn that in Kindergarten?  Not everyone is going to like you.  If someone doesn't like you, don't assume it is because you are black or white or Asian or Indian. Maybe it's because you're just not very nice.  And if someone doesn't like you, so what?  Move on and surround yourself with those who do.  Don't protest in my front yard or town just because I don't want to celebrate you.
   It seems that everyone has somehow mistaken "Freedom of Religion" and "Freedom of Speech" to mean that all others who don't agree are bigots and racists.  That is simply not true.  Be whatever it is you want to be, and be glad you live in a country where you have that freedom.  Don't infringe on my freedom, either.  I am not asking you to join my ranks of what I consider to be "normalcy". If I think you're weird or wrong or whatever, I can think that.  If I don't want to do business with you for whatever reason I choose, that's my right.
     Grow up, people!  Move on.  Devote some of that time and energy into hard work and raising a responsible, productive family.  If you want to change the world, it doesn't start at a rally or a protest; it starts at home, in your own living room.  Teach your kids right from wrong.  Teach them that they are not entitled to anything.  Teach them the value of a dollar and the meaning of hard work.  Teach them kindness and compassion for others.  Teach them to be good judges of character. Teach them and love them and care for them. THAT will change the world!

Meningitis: Moving on

 
  I feel so blessed to have survived my bout with Meningitis!  It is now a year and 10 months after my initial diagnosis, and though there are many side effects that have lasted, I am trying to learn to move on with my life.
     I have had three surgeries on my ears.  Two on my left ear, and one (including a craniotomy) on the right.  My last surgery on the right was seven months ago.  This was much more extensive than the left, as they had to remove part of my skull and "lift" my brain out of my ear canal.  After this surgery, there was much more pain and fatigue than the other ones.  Also, during my overnight stay following the surgery, my blood pressure rose very high, and I was really worried about that.  It calmed on it's own, and is fine now.
     My main side effects are significant hearing loss, some joint pain, and forgetfulness.   The joint pain, well, it hurts.  After my friend passed away from low immunity due to anti-inflammation medications which weakened her immune system beyond repair, I do not wish to be on steroids.  I am currently trying to get some relief from an ortho doctor, but fighting with the insurance to cover necessary tests.  I know part is due to my age, and we all have aches and pains, so I am just trying to deal with it.  Stairs are out at this point, and I find myself checking to see if wherever I am going will have stairs to climb.  I think a cane would help my knee pain, but there are just some things I can't bring myself to do just yet.  After all, aren't those for old people?  It won't likely improve, but maybe can be treated to the point of being tolerable.
     My hearing aids have been adjusted to compensate for the hearing loss, and it helps, but being in a crowded place results in a roar that makes it difficult to distinguish someone's words from the rest of the noise.  I still have trouble hearing the words people speak.  Did they say cake or gate?  Gift or lift?  Tammy or Frannie?  That drives me crazy, and sometimes I am totally embarrassed at the number of times I must ask someone to repeat something.  Talking on the phone is especially challenging.  If there is a bad connection, or someone has a soft voice, I sometimes have to hand the phone to someone else to interpret.  I find myself guessing what someone is saying, which sometimes is a bad idea.  So, I will have to deal with it.
     I am scheduled to have one final surgery in a week.  This will be to "stretch" my eustachain tubes.  All the prior surgeries were for practical reasons, to rebuild my bones, repair a spinal fluid leak, and lift my brain out of the ear canal. These were done to ensure I did not contract meningitis again. From that standpoint, it has been a success.  But the hearing that the doctor hoped would improve has not.  This last surgery is to maybe help the hearing issue.  I am hopeful this will do some good, as it is the last chance for improvement.  It will be out-patient, though I will be put completely out for this surgery, it won't take very long for the actual procedure.  I am not sure how long afterwards before I will know if it was successful, as there will be a healing time and some swelling that will have to subside.
     I hear my voice above all sounds when I talk. When I eat and chew, all I can hear is chewing.  Pretty much the way it would sound if you plugged your fingers into your ear canal all the time.  And, with the hearing loss, my brain, if I understand correctly, is trying to make up for the loss by generating noise. This is referred to as tinnitus.  In my right ear, I hear a high-pitched whirring noise all the time.  In my left ear, I hear a low, rumbly sound similar to being at the races all the time.  With the hearing aids in, it amplifies outside sounds enough that it is bearable.  But at night, when I take the hearing aids out, the constant noise is so loud, it drives me nuts sometimes.
    The thing I miss the most is singing.  Because my voice drowns out the external sounds, it is very difficult for me to hear music and try to sing on key.  I haven't done it in a long time because it will probably be bad, and that would be devastating to me.  Pride, I know, but I just can't help it.  So, I hope above hopes that at least my hearing will be restored enough to allow me to sing in church again.
     My forgetfulness is something that only I and my family notice.  Mostly short-term things.  Did you just tell me we were eating lunch together tomorrow or Wednesday?  I know some of this is due to old age and generally being a little forgetful, but I notice going to a room and not knowing why I am there once I go there.  I find myself asking my husband or kids something, only to have them say, "We already told you that twice."  When you're a control freak, this is quite disconcerting!
     So, I covet prayers that this will be a successful surgery and restore a little of my hearing, and that I will recover without a hitch.  I will post an update soon as to how it goes!

Are Dads Just Pocket Change?

    

Has anyone but me noticed the dramatic difference on how the world views fathers who are married to their child's mother vs. fathers who are not married to their child's mother?
    In a traditional marriage and family, the father is an exalted position.  The father is respected for being the leader of the family.  It is the father's role to be the cornerstone of religious preference, and to be the stable, logical figure of authority.  Father's generally have steady, stable jobs.  Most fathers are also in charge of the fun things that families do.  Fathers take their families camping, fishing, hiking, swimming, and on many other outdoor adventures.  Fathers are the ones who grab their children and toss them into the air while the child squeals with excitement.  Fathers are the only ones who are allowed to pass gas and laugh about it with their kids.  Fathers wrestle with their kids while mothers complain about the roughness, but it is still an enjoyable activity for everyone.  Fathers are expected to be a girl's first love and a boy's first hero.  Fathers save the day.  Fathers protect.  Fathers stand up for what is right.  Fathers teach girls how they should be treated by their future husband.  Fathers teach boys how to treat a girl.  Fathers solve problems.  Fathers fix things. 
     Things tend to change dramatically, however, when a divorce takes place, or a custody battle begins.  Fathers immediately become a distant visitor.  They must now pay to support themselves and their children AND their estranged partner.  They must pay money to see their own children they were previously seeing on a daily basis.  Let's suppose that a man and woman split up and had no children.  They are done; finished.  No further ties exist.  The man must continue living and working and supporting himself.  The woman must continue living and working and supporting herself.  Seems pretty cut and dried.  Enter a child, and all things change.  The mother doesn't have to do a single thing.  If she chooses not to work, no one condemns her, and the father must pay more money to her.  If she chooses to spend the money on herself instead of the children, no one cares and she is not punished for her lack of judgment.  If she wishes to announce false abuse allegations, the system jumps to cut off the father's rights.  Once allegations are proven false, all is dismissed, again with no punishment for mother's intentional attempt to alienate the father.
     This same father, who previously was intertwined in the daily lives of his children, must now work as many hours as possible to pay for his living expenses, mandatory child support to the mother, and astronomical attorney fees to try and buy his way back into his own childrens' lives.  Is there something wrong with this picture? If the father says, "I think I'll just quit my job and go back to school and take a break from working," he will likely be incarcerated for not paying child support.  He will be referred to as a "Deadbeat Dad".  Society will look down upon him.  The mother, though not legally permitted to do so, will cut off visits with the children, claiming that until he pays the child support, he won't get to see his kids.  The mother holds the strings simply because she is female.
     How is it possible that in this time of "equality" for all, and "equal rights" for everyone, that this atrocity continues to happen on a daily basis?  If our country truly has equal rights, then let's make it equal.  Equal time with the children, and no support to or from anyone.  Daddy has to get a job to support himself and his children he has for half the time.  Mom has to get a job to support herself and her children she has half the time.  Is that so unfair?  Of course this is assuming both parents are fit, able, and willing to care for the children.  How is it that our judicial system thinks the best interest of the children is to see their father 4 days per month?  How is a father supposed to be a role model and influence the lives of his children when he only sees them 4 days per month?  The daycare provider spends more time with the children that their own father!  The "standard" schedule amounts to a loss of 13 years that the father has been absent from the child's life by the time the child turns 18. This is in the best interest of the children? 
     As I come to know more people's stories about divorce, child support, and child custody, there are a few commonalities with everyone.  It seems that if the attorneys and judges were interested in the "best interest" of the children, they would encourage the two parties to work things out amicably when possible.  But, of course, it's kind of like the pharmaceutical companies: If they provided cures, they would be out of business.  But if they treat the symptoms, people continue to come back and buy more.  Attorneys don't live in fancy houses and drive nice cars because they did what was best for their clients.  They did what was best for themselves! How they sleep at night is beyond me!
     Also, it seems that many of the mothers I hear about, including one I have personal experience with, are textbook "Narcissists".  They live in a made-up reality which they have created.  In their world, they are entitled to the best of everything because, well, they are just so great.  They haven't worked for or earned anything.  They are usually low on intelligence, but high on opinions.  Narcissists are hot-headed, and most times, they are abusive.  They fly into a violent rage when anyone dares to disagree with them or tell them "no".  They think no one knows about their behavior, but they are mistaken.  More people than they think know about everything they do.  (I know you're reading this and yes, I know about EVERYTHING you have ever done...)  They are liars.  They lie about small insignificant things, and about big, important things.  They rarely tell the truth. Not only that, but their reality consists of their lies to themselves and to others, so much that they believe their lies and sometimes have a hard time seeing the truth.  They are victims.  Victims of everything under the sun.  They throw out the words "abuse" and "harassment" like tossing pebbles into a pond.  They don't have the same meaning when a narcissist says them, but the narcissist knows what the majority of society thinks when they hear them, so it furthers their cause as the victim.  
     These mothers proclaim themselves to be "single mothers", when the fathers would give all they had just to have more time with their children.  Most of the fathers just want to move on with their lives and achieve some sort of normality. They have accepted that they will be forever tied to the mother of their children, but also want to move forward with their lives as well.  It seems like many mothers view the father simply as an ATM.  They are very demanding about their "entitled" funds, though many times the children never see any of the money.  
     Additionally, many mothers don't actually care about the well-being of the children, but rather use them as tokens and bargaining tools with the father.  Sometimes they bargain just for money, while other times they use the children like a hot poker, sticking the father at every opportunity.  They take enough photos to post on social media and give an outward appearance of the "perfect" life, but the fathers and their families know the inside story.  They see the children in less than favorable conditions.  They see the diaper rash, dirty hair, dirty, smelly clothes, scared looks, and more in their children.  They know the mother doesn't care, but for a non-custodial father to make such a declaration would be laughed at by society, and judges as well.  
     The mother doesn't have to do anything in particular to get primary custody.  The father, however, must walk to the ends of the earth and back with stacks and stacks of proof to get more than 4 days per month with their children.  Unbelievable, just unbelievable.  
     When will fathers be seen as equally important in their children's lives, and when will mothers be expected to do their fair share of providing for their children? I hope soon, but until then, I fear fathers will continue to just be seen as a perpetual checkbook...

Conversations with a Narcissist

     Dealing with a narcissist can be enough to send a sane person over the edge.  I had heard that term used many times in my life, but until I actually interacted with one I had no idea of the destruction they leave in their wake.  Narcissists are a special breed of people, unlike most people we come into contact with throughout our lives.  They are liars.  Liars about big things, and also about small, insignificant things.  They are liars because they don't exist in the real world.  They only exist in their illusion.  And when it's their illusion, it can be anything they wish - sort of like when you have a weird dream and things that make no sense are perfectly logical in the dream. Narcissists would rather climb a ladder to tell a lie than stand on the ground and tell the truth.
     Their lies become their reality.  They believe their own lies so strongly that they could pass a lie detector test.  And they spout them with such authority that it makes sane people doubt what they know actually happened.
     True narcissists are so superficial, that people who have not been personally involved with them many times think the normal person is crazy.  After all, they are accusing this "syrupy" sweet person of nasty, vile things.  If one can merely wait long enough, the narcissist will show their true colors and all will know, but sometimes that waiting takes a long time.
     Narcissists do not have the ability to love another human being.  Their love of themselves is so great, there is simply no room for anyone else.  They have the desire for supreme control, by any means necessary.  They do not possess logic.  When explaining something logical to the narcissist, they can't process it unless the end result is what they wanted.
     Narcissists believe they deserve the best.  The best of everything.  They don't believe this because they have worked hard, or because they are deserving.  They believe it because they are, in their minds, entitled.  If you don't believe them, just ask.  They will gladly tell you how wonderful and special they are.

Example of a general conversation involving a couple of people and a narcissist:
Person 1:  That sure is a nice neighborhood over there.
Person 2:  Yes, I know.  There are a lot of fancy houses being built.  Those people must make a lot of money.
Narcissist:  "Oh, yes.  My sister has a house over there."
Person 1: "Really?  Which one?"
Narcissist:  "Well it's not finished yet, they are still in the process."
Person 2:  "Oh, so which one is theirs?"
Narcissist:  "I'm not sure.  My family doesn't really talk to her that much, so I don't know which one it is."
Truth:  Sister does not have a house over there, nor is even contemplating building a house there.  
The narcissist can't resist.  They can't simply join the conversation and say, "Yes, those are some pretty nice houses."  They have to invent something to make you think they are a part of what you have described as "impressive".  The stupid thing here is that it's not like you live in another town and will never find out - it will be known to everyone that it was a big fat lie.

Example of a conversation involving a narcissist and their "significant other":
Narcissist:  "I just can't trust you anymore."
Person 1: "Why not?  What have I done that makes you think you can't trust me?"
Narcissist:  "You know what you've done."
Person 1:  "No, I don't know.  Tell me what has happened that you don't trust me?"
Narcissist:  "I am not going to play your little games."
Person 1:  "What games?  I just want an answer."
Narcissist:  "I have been through this with you before."
Person 1:  "Been through what?  What are you talking about?  What have I done to make you not trust me?"
Narcissist: "I am not telling you again."
Person 1 now begins to doubt reality because the narcissist spouts their nonsense with such authority.
Finally, the subject is dropped with no answer because the sane person knows there IS no answer.
TRUTH:  Sane person has done nothing to make the narcissist not trust them, but this is their way of creating chaos, stirring the pot of dissension, and maintaining control of the relationship.

Example of a conversation involving a narcissist and a casual acquaintance:
Narcissist: "He has always been mean to me."
Person 1: "Really?  I had no idea."
Narcissist:  "Oh, yes.  It has been most awful. I have thought about calling the police several times, but was trying to be the bigger person."
Person 1:  "Gee, that's too bad.  It must be hard."
Narcissist: "Yes, I try to hide all the bruises, but sometimes it is difficult.  Some day, I will work up the courage to leave."
TRUTH:  The narcissist is in fact the one who is violent during arguments, and the instigator of both the argument and the violence.

Example of argument between the narcissist and their significant other:
Narcissist:  "I think we should do this."
Person 1:  "I don't think we should do this.  It doesn't seem like a very good idea to me."
Narc: "I want to do it.  That's why.  It makes perfect sense."
Person 1:  "It is not a good idea. The reasons it is not a good idea are A, B, and C."
Narc:  "That's not reasons.  It is a good idea and we are going to do it."
Person 1:  "Don't you see, it's a bad idea.  If you do this, X, Y, and Z are going to happen and it will end in disaster.  You can't do it."
Narc:  "Oh, that is just like you.  Every time I want something you shoot me down.  If you really loved me and cared about me, you would support me here.  Obviously you care nothing about me."
Person 1: "Loving you has nothing to do with it.  It is not logical.  Doing this will cause this and that to happen.  Don't you understand that?"
Narc; "That's it!  I have had it with you and your threats!" (Narc throws nearest object at person 1)
This ends with shouting, cursing and more objects being thrown, until person 1 finally concedes, because they can see there is no end in sight unless their answer is "Yes, dear."

Conversation confronting Narcissist about a lie:
Person 1: "Why did you say Jane Doe told you XYZ?"
Narc:  Because that's exactly what she said to me.
Parson 1:  "No, it's not what she said.  What she said was ABC."
Narc:  "You're wrong!  She said XYZ!"
Person 1:  "Well, let me just call her and put her on speaker phone and we will get to the bottom of this and see who said what."   (dialing phone and waiting for Jane Doe to answer)
Narc:  "You are crazy!  I am leaving!  I don't have to stay here and be subjected to this crap!"  (Narcissist storms out before any determination can be made.)
Narcissists always make the bigger scene and redirect the attention back to themselves, in a sense bullying everyone else from investigating to find the truth.

     The biggest gripe about narcissists is that they manage to lie, cheat and steal their way through life, while normal people are always the ones to overlook their behavior. Normal people don't want to make a scene and don't usually call the narcissist out on their lies and behavior.  Normal people take up the slack when the narcissist makes a scene and storms out, because that's just what most people do.  Normal people whisper to one another about the narcissist, but few are brave enough to endure the over-reaction that will occur if they confront the narcissist.  Most people are too polite to snarl back at the narcissist, and remain silent while the narcissist spouts lies and deceptions at will.  They are nothing but bullies, with no personality or character without their illusion of lies.
     You may not know whereof I speak, but if the time comes that you encounter a true narcissist, you will know.  Rest assured, you will know.

Family Law Not So Good for Families

     Family Law. Sounds pretty compassionate, doesn't it?  Externally, it would seem so.  But until you have endured this system, you have no idea. 

     The courts have managed to take something personal and natural, like a father's love for his child, and twist it and turn it until it is barely recognizable, and resembles money more than it resembles love.

     I am not a lawyer, and I did not go to college for 8 years.  But I am not stupid, either.  Don't patronize me and my family and treat us like we are incapable of making a sound decision. 

     As many of you know, my son recently went through a divorce.  It was not nice in any way, shape or form.  Included in that divorce was custody determination.  Some people may be aware that there is legislation in place now, and more coming down the road that is actually in favor of fathers' rights.  Laws that allow the father to be an active, continual presence in their children's lives.  Laws that are trying to make things more equal between fathers and mothers.  Laws that make it illegal to automatically assume it's best for the children to be with their mother, just because she is a female. Laws that aren't endorsed by many judges yet. 

     HB1550Here is summation of HB1550 is one such law.  It basically is the "foot in the door" for more legislation to come.  It sets parameters for judges on ruling about custody.  This bill encourages judges to begin at 50/50 custody and 50/50 possession of the children and work backwards based on evidence.  Is the father a drug addict?  Then maybe he doesn't get 50/50.  Is the  mother an alcoholic?  Maybe she doesn't get primary custody.  It assumes that two fit parents both deserve equal time with the children.  It assumes that each and every child, regardless of why their parents divorced, deserves to be loved and be able to love each parent equally.  Unless there are reasons that would cause harm to the child while in the care of one parent, it should be equal.  Period.

     A benchmark appeal over this new law is Morgan v. Morgan, in the Eastern District Court of Appeals.  This is the most notable case where a judge applied and enforced this legislation.  Mother had primary custody, with father only getting every other weekend visits, even though father wanted and was fit to have more time with the child. Father had to pay child support. Mother continually broke the communication lines - didn't answer texts and calls from father, didn't inform father when child was ill, or would need to miss school or had doctor appointments.  Mother moved often, sometimes without telling father.  The judge in this case ended up reversing the situation, citing it was in the best interest of the child.  Father got primary custody, and mother had to pay child support, with only every other weekend visits.  Father was, in fact, more stable than mother. 

     This is not to say that there aren't deadbeat dads who never see the kids and don't pay their child support.  Those fathers need to take responsibility for their children.  But there are mothers who are just as irresponsible as those deadbeat dads, yet they have custody of the kids.  There are mothers who are using the kids as weapons and bargaining tools and doing irreparable damage to the children.   There are mothers who aren't drug addicts, and aren't burning the kids with cigarettes, but are simply indifferent with their children, leaving the child to wonder why Mommy doesn't care enough to ask about their day or give them a hug once in a while.  All these things taking place while an able and fit father would give all he had to hug his child each night before bed, or pick them up from school and ask how their day was.  But because she is female and he is male, she wins.  She gets the big prize.  She gets the kids, and she gets money.  Money that most times is not spent on the kids, but on her.  Too bad for father.  he must work and live in squalor to support himself and pay child support.  Mother doesn't even have to work if she doesn't want to - the child support form itself makes concessions if mama doesn't want to do anything but sit on her butt.  She gets the kids and gets rewarded for doing nothing.  And she can qualify for government assistance, too!

     Who cares?  I care!  I care and my son cares!  I can't tell you how awful it feels to sit in a courtroom for hours, while lawyers and judges whisper about who knows what, all the while charging you out the wazoo for 15 minutes of paperwork.  I guess we have watched too many television shows where you hire a lawyer and they rant and rave in the courtroom, fighting for their client.  Not in family court.  In family court, father's attorney files a paper, and then mother's attorney files a paper.  Then you wait a few weeks and file some more papers.  A few weeks, more papers.  More money and more papers.  All of which have no meaning for anyone, especially not the children.  After all the turmoil our entire family has been through, and thousands of dollars spent, my son ended up with every other weekend.  Bam!  If the attorney would have just said, "You're probably going to end up with every other weekend, no matter what you do." We would have maybe done something different, I don't know.  But we invested all this time and money thinking we would have a different outcome.  We kept track of every last thing, good or bad that happened during the divorce and custody issues.  We made notes and saved receipts and lots of other stuff, mostly for nothing.  Nothing mattered.  Neglect by mother didn't matter.  Love by father didn't matter.  Money didn't matter.  What was best for the child didn't matter.  HB1550 didn't matter.  Nothing, just nothing mattered.

     Family court is a joke.  Family court is not at all interested in what is best for the child, otherwise, they would examine each case and make some kind of determination individually.  Right now, they wait patiently while attorneys file this paper and that paper, and wait it out until everyone's made enough money, and then they let the lawyers make some dumb recommendation, which is that Mother has custody and Father gets to visit every other weekend.  There comes a time when there is just no more money.  No more money left to spend on an unfair fight.  Another $20,000 wouldn't have produced a different outcome. 

     As my son sat there after conceding to the standard "every-other-weekend" visitation, I watched with anger at the system, and hurt for my son, while the judge asked if he believed this agreement was in the best interest of the child.  What a stupid question.  Of course it wasn't in the best interest of the child.  But saying "No" would mean thousands more dollars spent, and no different outcome.  He had to say "Yes."  There was no other choice. 

     He did nothing wrong.  All he wanted was to see his child and spend time with his child.  He is not a drug addict.  He is not an alcoholic.  He is not abusive.  He is a good person and a good father.  He is honest, dependable and hard-working.  He loves his child.  But family court says all that doesn't matter.  Just because he is a male, he is the biggest loser here.  Too bad, because though he suffers for this decision, the child will suffer more.  The child will wonder why things were arranged this way. So much for family life...

Just Like, and Type "Amen"

Oh, how I hate seeing these dumb memes come down Facebook.  "Just like and type 'Amen' and you will receive a large sum of money in three days".  Or, how about "Like and share if you love Jesus"?  These just really get my goat!
Don't get me wrong, I'd love to get a large sum of money, and I do love Jesus, but I am pretty sure my Facebook activity doesn't have much to do with either one.
First of all, do you personally know someone who got that large sum of money in three days?  Me neither.  And have you ever heard of anyone being struck dead because they loved Jesus, but didn't like and share a post?  Me neither.
You know, somehow our society has managed to come to the opinion that if we do "X" and "Y", God will send us "Z".  Where, exactly, does God promise to bargain with us?  No where that I can find.  I hear Joel Osteen preaching that if we do what we are supposed to do, we will be rich.  He doesn't say it in so many words, but that is the implication.  We are humanly trying to put a value on a blessing from God.  A dollar value.
Our "riches" and blessings have value, but certainly God doesn't need money to make them worthy.  We are using our finite minds to figure up something that came from an infinite God.  Think about Job.  He was a very righteous man, and had found favor with God.  He was doing it right.  He was obeying God and living where God wanted him.  And yet God allowed satan to take away all that Job thought was valuable, further proving that Job was a righteous man.  God wasn't punishing Job.  He simply allowed it.  He knew that whatever we endure on this earth, good or bad, can't compare with our eternal rewards.
While we may suffer and endure tragedy on earth, we can still have hope and know that our reward in Heaven (if we are born-again Christians) will be so much greater than anything here.  The richest man on earth will have no meaning in eternity.
This is why sometimes, even when we are right where God wants us to be, terrible things (as defined by our human, finite minds) can happen.  And by the same token, great things (also as defined by our human, finite minds) can happen to the worst of people.  People who we feel don't deserve this or that seem to have wealth and success.
I just hate that the majority of society, and some Christians, seem to think if they do this or that, in this way or that way, God will zap them some cash.  It just doesn't work that way.  We are to do right in the sight of God because it's right in the sight of God.  Our rewards will come in Heaven.  This is not to say that God doesn't bless Christians with money, either.  Just that the money, success, failure, tragedy, whatever is all temporary and will pass away.  We are much better off to concern ourselves with our eternal rewards instead.
So, don't be offended if I don't type "Amen" on your post.  And know that I do, in fact, love Jesus, though I may not like and share your post.
See you on the other side!

I'm a Woman, and It's My RIGHT!

I am a bit appalled at what I see on the news lately. Although we live in a country where we are free to say nearly anything, these women who are marching for "rights", and spouting ignorance for all to hear just really upset my apple cart. 
What were these women marching for?  Rights?  Rights to do what?  Women's Liberation has long been over and at present, we have the "right" to do just about anything we want.  So, I guess the next question is, what is it all you women want to do?  Dress like a purple vagina?  Say things like "blow up the Whitehouse"?  A small part of me is embarrassed to be the same gender as you marching women. 
I suppose I would be called "old-fashioned", but I love that fact that women are not the same as men.  Just like God intended. I am glad there is still some chivalry.  I love it when my husband opens the door for me.  It makes me feel special.  What do you women want - for a guy to come up and shove you out of the way and race you to the door to run in first?  I mean, isn't that equal? Do you really want to work the same job as a man?  While I know a few women in the manual labor sector that could keep up with a man, most could not.  Our bodies were not designed the same.  Our muscles are not the same.  We weren't meant to hurl bags of feed or bales of hay onto a big truck. 
Do these women get angry if a man sends them flowers or candy?  Do they expect an engagement ring?  It seems as though they are trying to only have the benefits of both worlds.  They want equal pay for doing a man's job, but they want the boss to leave out the really hard stuff.  They say they want to be exactly equal, but are mad when they don't get candy and roses on Valentine's Day.
Women's Liberation was a movement designed to stop women from feeling and being seen as sub-standard citizens.  I suppose they got their wish, but in fact, they were never sub-standard.  They were different.  Is a truck better than a car?  They are both vehicles, but were designed to do different things, with one filling a gap left by the other.  Women were designed with very specific purposes in mind.  Bearing children is vital to the success of our generations.  Of course, we all know if men were required to bear children, there would be like three people left on the earth.  Women were designed to produce food for their babies.  Women were designed to be emotional and nurturing.  If men were emotional, we would sure have a lot of crying going on.  It's good to be different.  To fill a different role than men.  Just like we were intended to.
Another thing I don't understand is why there are protests about Trump being president.  Don't you people live in this great country?  Maybe you haven't learned this, but we are a democracy.  That means that we all get a vote in what happens.  Sometimes your vote happens to be the way things go, and sometimes what happens isn't what you would have preferred.  That is both the great and terrible thing about living in a democracy.  If you don't care for this form of government, our country grants you the freedom to move to a different country if you so choose. 
Our country allows you the freedom to protest.  Now, most times a protest is designed to sway peoples' opinion of a certain matter, or to show your distaste for the actions or lack of actions of someone or some group, or to indicate that your rights have somehow been violated.  But to protest who got elected president isn't a protest at all. It's a fit.  A fit that further confirms the downfall of our society as a whole.  Personally, I did not care for President Obama.  But, I live in a democracy, and apparently two times, the majority of the people in this great country wanted him to be the President.  So, that's OK.  The president deserves some level of respect simply for the title he has been given.  Regardless of my opinion, and whether or not I agree with everything President Obama did, if I would have come face to face with him, I would have shown respect and addressed him as "Sir".  It's the right thing to do.
I fear we are teaching our children that they don't have to show respect to anyone, ever.  That, my friend, is a sad day.  Don't you want to know that if you put money in your bank, it will be there when you go to withdraw it?  Don't you want to know that those employees have been taught and trained to do what is good and right, even if it's not always what they want?  I sure do.
This generation is learning all the wrong things.  There is something great to be said about having empathy for others.  Something great about sometimes putting aside your wants and needs for the good of someone else. This generation is missing out on the joy of doing random acts of kindness.  Missing the joy of helping a fellow citizen just because you can.  Missing the safe feeling that comes from knowing you must obey the rules, and anyone who does not will be punished. Missing the definition of fighting for a cause that will better the lives of many. They're just missing so much.
Don't any of these protesters have jobs?  I have never participated in a protest, because I and my husband had jobs.  If we missed days of work, it was missing money in our pockets.  I feel a lot the same towards these protesters as I do career criminals.  If you had a job you worked at all day, and then went home to take care of your family, you simply wouldn't have the time to attend protests and/or commit crimes.  I guess I just don't get it.
If you want to change the world, it starts at home. At YOUR home.  Get a job.  Work. Have a family.  Love your family.  Teach your children right from wrong.  Attend church.  Let your children see you give money back to the cashier who gave you too much change.  BE the miracle in someone's life.  That will produce much more world change than wearing a purple vagina on your head and shouting in the streets.