Friday, October 5, 2018

Me, Tarzan! You, Jane!


Are we reverting back to caveman days?  What on earth has happened to the women in this country?

As I watch the circus unfolding while the Senate Judiciary Hearings are going on, I can't help but wonder what has happened here.  Women through the years have fought to be heard and to be valued and to be believed.  Yet this crazy drama seems to have set women back many years.

I believe women and men are both to be valued and both to be believed.  We are both valuable, but we are far from equal.  We were created differently on purpose.  We each have vital things we bring to the world and to each other in a relationship.  Different, but equally as important.

I am appalled at the people I have seen who say we should believe all women and assume all men are rapists!  Who, in their right mind, would think like that?  I know plenty of liars that are women.  And I know plenty of men who would never harm a woman.  In this particular circus of flying monkeys, we are even forsaking our constitutional foundation of the country.  These people are spouting that we don't even need evidence to destroy someone's life.  How preposterous!

I would hope that no one could show up at my door with the police and claim I robbed them, having no proof, and talk the judicial system into putting me into jail.  I believe we still have the right to be considered innocent until someone proves otherwise.  Those shouting for believing the woman would certainly not be happy with the results of their future if they got their wish.

Let's examine this.  First, a woman says she was sexually assaulted by someone 36-ish years ago.  I was alive and kicking 36 years ago, and what she described was not called sexual assault.  It was called being at a party where there was drinking.  No one and nothing was safe or sacred at a "gathering" of drinking teenagers.  There would likely be a fight, some scene in a bedroom that involved alcohol, betrayal and crying, and rumors and talk the next day among all who were there and a few who weren't.  In today's world, a mere wink at the opposite sex could be called sexual assault!  Give me a break!  Has our society become such a tattletale group of easily-offended people that we have to have a legal term for every last thing that might possibly sometime someday offend someone?  The one sure way to see that nothing wild and crazy happened to you in the 80's was to stay away from wild and crazy places!  The fact that she went there means she knew what might happen. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar.

Second, she doesn't remember how she got there, where it was, who else was there, or how she got home.  I've had a few "close calls" myself, and to this day I remember those times.  And mine weren't "traumatic" as she claims hers were, yet she remembers nothing.  She claims her good friend was there and that once she escaped into the bathroom, she managed to find a way to "run" out of the house past her assaulters.  Her good friend never chased after her, or called her that night or the next day to see why she ran out or if she was alright?  That's odd.  She was supposedly 15 when this happened.  At 15, I didn't go anywhere by myself.  I went with a group of at least one other girl and most usually 4 or 5 other girls.  We went to the bathroom together, to parties together, and we knew all that went on with the other people in our group.  If there was a "near miss" at a party, we knew it, and everyone else there knew it, too.  And if someone had tried to have their way with a friend in our group, the other people in the group would have made sure to tell them what a jerk we thought they were for acting that way.  Then, it was over.  No police, no lawsuit, no tattling.  It was a risk everyone took who went to a party.  If it was rough, the other boys there took care of letting the offender know their behavior was unacceptable.  Again, no police, etc.

Third, in her story, she said she heard uproarious laughter and them ping-ponging down the stairs.  She said she heard others talking to them downstairs, and then she said she didn't hear others talking downstairs.  Which is it?  She heard or she didn't?  Most parties I went to had music so loud you couldn't hear anyone talking, anywhere.  She wasn't sure of anything, really, except that she had 1 beer and it was definitely, 100% Brett Kavanaugh.  Weird.  I remember lots of detail about parties, but how many drinks consumed would be the one detail I couldn't tell you.

Next, she said it was so traumatic, she repressed the memory and it didn't come out until 2012 in a therapy session, which was needed because she wanted 2 front doors on her house.  She also said it was so traumatic that her first 2 years of college were very difficult.  So, she forgot it for the remainder of high school, remembered it the first 2 years of college, and then forgot it again until 2012?  Is that right?  I have had some things happen that are pretty crappy.  I never forgot what happened, or who did it.  If they are reading this blog, they know who they are.  Did it affect me?  Of course!  Everything in our lives affects us.  Our experiences, good and bad, shape us into who we are.  The accumulation of life lessons teach us to be wise and act in certain ways.  Does it mean we are unable to function?  It shouldn't.  Tragedies are terrible.  When terrible things happen, we feel a host of emotions, from sadness to despair to anger, but we must live on.  The statement, "Get busy livin', or get busy dyin'" rings true.  Some days you just have to trudge on.  You can choose to wallow in the pit of being a victim of something, or you can choose to muscle on and overcome whatever it is.  That is true of everyone.  We all face trials, but we don't all succumb to despair.

Did something really happen to Christine Blasey-Ford?  I don't know, and can't say, as I haven't walked in her shoes.  Did she prove that Brett Kavanaugh was her assaulter?  Absolutely not!  She gave not one shred of proof or evidence.  She didn't have a police report from the time it happened.  She didn't have a statement by others who attended the party saying they remembered it.  In the 80's there were no cell phones.  If she ran out of the house, where did she go?  Did she walk 7 miles home?  Did she knock on a stranger's door and ask to use their phone?  And where were her parents?  Didn't she come home with her clothes disheveled and her makeup smeared, and have her mother ask what had happened?  If 2 drunk college guys tried but failed to make anything happen, didn't they tell the other party goers what a prude she was?  She didn't have corroboration of her story from the people she said could corroborate it.

There's just nothing about this whole story that makes any sense.  None of it.  And to judge a person from their behavior 36 years ago is nuts!  I'm so glad that I am not judged by my behavior in 1982.  I was a stupid teenager with no sense, and no limits to the crazy stunts I'd try.  I didn't care about the future because I couldn't see past 10 minutes.  That's called being a teenager.  Thankfully, most of us grow up and mature into somewhat-responsible people.  We leave behind the irresponsible behavior and get married and raise a family and work hard at our jobs.  And most of us know that our coworkers, friends and family went through that change, too.  We don't punish the vice president of a corporation because he had a bathtub full of beer when he was 17.

If something bad happened to Christine Blasey-Ford, I'm sorry.  She waited too late to tell anyone.  That's the long and short of this story.  If you choose not to report something that has happened that you think is illegal, then that's your choice.  Sometimes that choice means you can't report it later.  If you steal my gun and I find you with it 10 years later and it has my name carved into it, then I can still report it.  If you punch me and I have a black eye, I can choose to go to a doctor or the police where it can be documented, or I can choose to wait 2 or 3 weeks and then report it.  At that point, it's my word against yours. Waiting is a choice, and in her case, it cost her the possibility of evidence, if there was any to start with.  That may sound mean, but it's the truth.

I hope women and men can remember that our country was founded on a system for justice, and part of that is being presumed innocent until you are proven guilty.  I know this isn't a "trial", but this woman has forever tainted this man's life and his family's life.  What a terrible thing to do to another person! May God put His hand over our government and country and let the truth be known and justice be served.