Our family usually eats supper at my mom's once every week, otherwise we would never connect with each other. We are all busy with work and a few extra activities, so this is a much-needed time for us to come together and temporarily forget about whatever crazy stuff is going on around us.
Last night was that night. We ate supper (thank you to my mom, for I know what it takes to feed our bunch!) and then made a fire in the fire pit and roasted marshmallows and enjoyed the cool night air with each other. This sounds very relaxing, doesn't it? I think a better description would be loud, funny chaos, but that seems to be what we thrive on!
My two-year old grandson is a total ball of fire, never still for a minute. Very funny and kind-hearted, but a typical two-year old. The fire is so enticing for kids. He wanted to roast marshmallows. Not to eat, but just so he could stick something in the fire. And he wanted a new stick each time. And each time he got a new stick with a new marshmallow he managed to drag the sticky, used sticks all across his clothes. By night's end, we all were covered in something sticky. Then my mom brought out his tea party stuff (yes, boys like tea parties too) and he managed to pour an entire pitcher of water all over himself. Now he was wet and sticky, so in turn, we were all wet and sticky. He got a Little Tikes climbing playhouse for his birthday, but that is not nearly as fun as the box it came in. It is now a house, complete with windows and doors, and apparently you have to go in with a flashlight and scare all the residing ghosts away by shouting at them. Thankfully, his mom is still limber enough to climb around inside a box, because they would have had to call 911 to get me out. And his nightly ritual includes scouring the yard with a flashlight in search of armadillos. This began on our trips to the lake, as they seem to roam freely there, and he doesn't know the difference between there and anywhere else.
My son has a 3-month old, who seems to take the noise and chaos in stride. Actually, I think it is very entertaining to her, because there is always some commotion to be interested in. Between all of us passing the baby around, I am pretty sure she is glad to just go home and lay in her bed without someone in her face. And the two year old doesn't yet understand why you can shoot big people with nerf darts, but not babies. So we are always on guard in case we need to shield the baby's face from incoming warfare. And sticky marshmallow sticks. And I am pretty sure the baby only hears this noise level when she comes to our family's houses. As I have told her repeatedly, You can't pick your family - you're stuck with us.
All of that to say, as I sat there observing the organized chaos, I realized I have so much to be thankful for. My kids, though they were typical kids and did lots of stuff I didn't approve of, are pretty good kids. They aren't strung out on drugs, and have never done anything criminal, and still want to be close with our family. My parents, though aging, are still going and doing and being an active part of our family. And my kids and grandkids feel just as comfortable with us and my parents as they do with their own parents, and they know we love them beyond measure and would do anything we could for them. God has truly blessed our family with the most precious thing we can have on this earth - a loving family!
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
Friday, September 4, 2015
Let's Get Back To The Basics of Life!
When I was a kid, our lives were filled with joy and wonder, and the worst thing we worried about was whether our friend would be able to come out and play. Our neighborhood was full of kids and we all played together. Some were a little ornery, but most were just regular kids. We didn't have cell phones, ipads, or video games. We PLAYED. We used our imaginations. We explored. We laughed. We argued with each other, sometimes duked it out, and then we were friends again. ALL without the interference of our parents. No one sued anyone. No one called the police for a bullying incident. We learned to compromise. We learned that there was a pecking order, and once you found your spot, all was well with the world. We learned that we are all different, but also the same. We acquired life-long skills of give and take. Our parents made sure we learned right from wrong and knew the meaning of the word "no". We all got spankings on a regular basis. And WE SURVIVED!!
We didn't have every minute of our day planned. There weren't the same extra-curricular options that there are today, and I never remember saying I was "bored". People randomly stopped by "to visit" and were always welcomed. Neighbors knew each other and you could call on your neighbors for help and they were glad to assist. Nobody had much money or fancy houses or cars, but we were all pretty happy. We ate raw hot dogs. We dug up bugs and worms and then ate without washing our hands! In the summer, our parents said ,"Go outside and play." And we always found something to do. We built forts. We played cops and robbers, or cowboys and indians. We didn't know what racial discrimination meant. We accepted the world and our environment at face-value. I never heard of anyone being kidnapped. Or murdered. Or raped. I didn't know anyone whose parents weren't still married.
What has happened to that world? We call it technological advances, but have we really advanced? Now, we can't let our kids even go outside alone. And certainly not out of our yard. We have scheduled "play dates". Five-year olds have cell phones. No one knows how to entertain themselves. Our kids think nothing about hearing the word "murder" or "rape" on the news - it is far too common. They can no longer be disciplined without someone calling DFS. We try to coax them into behaving, and I see parents trying to "reason" with a two-year old. Ethics and morals have gone out the window. No one takes pride in their work or their lives. Most kids have step-families now. Children are forced to compete with technology for their parents' attention. We have all kinds of devices intended to save us time and make things happen faster, yet we have less time than we ever have.
If only we could get back to enjoying life, enjoying our children, and stopping to smell the roses. Our kids would be much happier, and in turn, our lives would be much more enjoyable.
Wednesday, September 2, 2015
Why Does God Allow Bad Stuff To Happen To Good People?
I hear this question often. Usually preceded by "If God is a God of love, and loves everyone..."
This is usually asked by those who are not Christians. They play the hypocrite card when invited to church - "Everyone there is a bunch of hypocrites - that's why I don't go."
I believe the people who ask the first question don't fully understand. God, a God of love, created a perfect world for us to live in. He created Adam because he desired companionship. And he created Eve so Adam would have companionship. But God didn't desire demanded companionship - he wanted it to be a choice that was made, and man was given free will. In the world God created, everything worked and coincided perfectly. There was only one stipulation - don't partake of one tree. And you know what the most tantalizing tree was? That one tree. And satan convinced Eve that by eating from that tree, she would be as knowledgeable as God Himself.
Once she and Adam had eaten from that tree, they immediately knew satan was a liar. It didn't fill them with knowledge, but instead, shame. Shame for disobeying God. And sorrow for ruining their perfect relationship with God. And their curse for that mistake was that all of mankind would be born with a sinning nature. All of mankind would now suffer physical pain, sickness and eventual death.
But our God of love is a God of second chances. He provided a way for our souls to have eternal life beyond the day of our physical death. He sent His only son, Jesus Christ, a perfect, sinless man to be tormented and crucified as a blood sacrifice to pay the debt of our sin, that debt being eternal damnation. But He still gave us free will. The choice to accept this way to eternal life in Heaven, or the choice to reject it.
The answer to this question is, bad stuff happens to good people because good people sinned. And still sin. But our God of love gave the opportunity to escape this world of sickness and death. So that is how His love is displayed to us. Everyone experiences trials and temptations in this temporary world. But through God, we have hope for a future and peace in our hearts that a non-Christian simply cannot understand.
So to the latter question, I would ask, do you go to work every day? Isn't that place filled with hypocrites? Do you shop at Wal-mart? Aren't there hypocrites there? For some reason, people seem to think churches should be full of saints. Sorry to burst your bubble, but it's kind of like a hospital. People who feel fine usually aren't occupying the rooms. The same holds true with churches.
First, those people filling the church are just people. Human, sinful people like everyone else. The difference is that the Christians enjoy God's grace and mercy, and forgiveness for their sins. Should Christians live differently than non-Christians? Of Course! But not all of them do, unfortunately. And though we strive (or should) to live a life free of sin, our fleshly nature causes us to fail many times over. We are instructed to ask for forgiveness for our sins and try, with God's help, not to repeat them. And my best guess is the ones who refuse to go to church probably haven't been, and don't actually know first hand just who goes there.
Second, churches have a couple of purposes. One, is to be able to come together and fellowship with Christian brothers and sisters and worship God. Another is the hospital effect. Your pastor's job is to preach the word of God. And throughout time, the true word of God has the power to uplift you, convict you of sin in your life, and encourage you to walk closer to God. So, if you are experiencing a "storm" in your life, you can find comfort at church. If you are living outside of God's will, hopefully your conscience is convicted to repent and come back into walking closely with God.
And the church is the place where most people who aren't Christians hear the word of God, and about His grace and mercy, and the plan of salvation.
Why not give it a try, if you've never been, or if it has been a while?
This is usually asked by those who are not Christians. They play the hypocrite card when invited to church - "Everyone there is a bunch of hypocrites - that's why I don't go."
I believe the people who ask the first question don't fully understand. God, a God of love, created a perfect world for us to live in. He created Adam because he desired companionship. And he created Eve so Adam would have companionship. But God didn't desire demanded companionship - he wanted it to be a choice that was made, and man was given free will. In the world God created, everything worked and coincided perfectly. There was only one stipulation - don't partake of one tree. And you know what the most tantalizing tree was? That one tree. And satan convinced Eve that by eating from that tree, she would be as knowledgeable as God Himself.
Once she and Adam had eaten from that tree, they immediately knew satan was a liar. It didn't fill them with knowledge, but instead, shame. Shame for disobeying God. And sorrow for ruining their perfect relationship with God. And their curse for that mistake was that all of mankind would be born with a sinning nature. All of mankind would now suffer physical pain, sickness and eventual death.
But our God of love is a God of second chances. He provided a way for our souls to have eternal life beyond the day of our physical death. He sent His only son, Jesus Christ, a perfect, sinless man to be tormented and crucified as a blood sacrifice to pay the debt of our sin, that debt being eternal damnation. But He still gave us free will. The choice to accept this way to eternal life in Heaven, or the choice to reject it.
The answer to this question is, bad stuff happens to good people because good people sinned. And still sin. But our God of love gave the opportunity to escape this world of sickness and death. So that is how His love is displayed to us. Everyone experiences trials and temptations in this temporary world. But through God, we have hope for a future and peace in our hearts that a non-Christian simply cannot understand.
So to the latter question, I would ask, do you go to work every day? Isn't that place filled with hypocrites? Do you shop at Wal-mart? Aren't there hypocrites there? For some reason, people seem to think churches should be full of saints. Sorry to burst your bubble, but it's kind of like a hospital. People who feel fine usually aren't occupying the rooms. The same holds true with churches.
First, those people filling the church are just people. Human, sinful people like everyone else. The difference is that the Christians enjoy God's grace and mercy, and forgiveness for their sins. Should Christians live differently than non-Christians? Of Course! But not all of them do, unfortunately. And though we strive (or should) to live a life free of sin, our fleshly nature causes us to fail many times over. We are instructed to ask for forgiveness for our sins and try, with God's help, not to repeat them. And my best guess is the ones who refuse to go to church probably haven't been, and don't actually know first hand just who goes there.
Second, churches have a couple of purposes. One, is to be able to come together and fellowship with Christian brothers and sisters and worship God. Another is the hospital effect. Your pastor's job is to preach the word of God. And throughout time, the true word of God has the power to uplift you, convict you of sin in your life, and encourage you to walk closer to God. So, if you are experiencing a "storm" in your life, you can find comfort at church. If you are living outside of God's will, hopefully your conscience is convicted to repent and come back into walking closely with God.
And the church is the place where most people who aren't Christians hear the word of God, and about His grace and mercy, and the plan of salvation.
Why not give it a try, if you've never been, or if it has been a while?
Thursday, August 20, 2015
Darn that Josh Dugger!
As unfair and as unrealistic as it is, people who aren't Christians expect people who are to be perfect. Otherwise, they are labeled as a hypocrite.
Thank you, Josh Dugger, for reinforcing that opinion of Christians. In today's world of technology and perpetual snoopers, did you not think anyone would find out?
We ALL make mistakes. We ALL have skeletons from our past that we would like to forget. But in the world we live in today, you can bet your booty that every last thing you have ever done can and will be discovered by someone. And then publicized.
It's like all the preachers who are discovered doing immoral things. It gives all the others a bad name. Personally, I think if you are going to choose to do things you know are wrong, step down from your position and do whatever it is you must do. But please don't do it while you are proclaiming the word of God and Christianity!
We are most definitely NOT perfect. None of us. But our job is to strive to live according to God's plan. Although we fail, we should still get up each day intending to live right and do God's will.
I hate that this has disgraced not only fellow Christians, but also his wife and family. What turmoil they must be going through. If he wanted to do that, he should have left the show, left his wife and done whatever he needed out of the limelight. (Of course, he shouldn't have done it at all.)
So sad.
Thank you, Josh Dugger, for reinforcing that opinion of Christians. In today's world of technology and perpetual snoopers, did you not think anyone would find out?
We ALL make mistakes. We ALL have skeletons from our past that we would like to forget. But in the world we live in today, you can bet your booty that every last thing you have ever done can and will be discovered by someone. And then publicized.
It's like all the preachers who are discovered doing immoral things. It gives all the others a bad name. Personally, I think if you are going to choose to do things you know are wrong, step down from your position and do whatever it is you must do. But please don't do it while you are proclaiming the word of God and Christianity!
We are most definitely NOT perfect. None of us. But our job is to strive to live according to God's plan. Although we fail, we should still get up each day intending to live right and do God's will.
I hate that this has disgraced not only fellow Christians, but also his wife and family. What turmoil they must be going through. If he wanted to do that, he should have left the show, left his wife and done whatever he needed out of the limelight. (Of course, he shouldn't have done it at all.)
So sad.
Thursday, July 16, 2015
Charitable Giver or Sucker?
My husband says I was a sucker. I still haven't made my decision.
A few days ago a man came to our business, a few years older than me, told me a story of how he was down on his luck and needed a few bucks to stay in a motel. I said our lot needed sweeping, so if he was willing, I would pay him for it. He agreed, and it was very hot that day. About half way through I felt bad for him, so I took him a Gatorade. We left for lunch, and I went ahead an paid him as he just had a little work left to do and told him to leave our brooms by the door when he was finished. I half-figured we would return to find we had no brooms. But there they were, and he did a fine job on our lot.
The next day, the same man returned. He stated his sister was due to pick him up the next morning and if I would loan him $30, he would be at our door when we opened to repay me. I agreed and gave him the money. I spent that night contemplating whether I thought he would actually show up, did some praying about it. I had decided if he showed I would accept his repayment and offer him our Bible which we keep on our counter, along with an explanation of how our riches on this earth are temporary, but God offers riches eternal, and offer to pray with him.
That was yesterday. So far, haven't seen him. So, I don't know - maybe I was a sucker. But sometimes it seems God guides you to do something and this is what I felt. I have prayed for this man, that if he was intent on scamming me that God would convict his heart and compel him to return and repay the money, which would give me a chance to witness to him.
I suppose I will just have to wait and see what happens...
A few days ago a man came to our business, a few years older than me, told me a story of how he was down on his luck and needed a few bucks to stay in a motel. I said our lot needed sweeping, so if he was willing, I would pay him for it. He agreed, and it was very hot that day. About half way through I felt bad for him, so I took him a Gatorade. We left for lunch, and I went ahead an paid him as he just had a little work left to do and told him to leave our brooms by the door when he was finished. I half-figured we would return to find we had no brooms. But there they were, and he did a fine job on our lot.
The next day, the same man returned. He stated his sister was due to pick him up the next morning and if I would loan him $30, he would be at our door when we opened to repay me. I agreed and gave him the money. I spent that night contemplating whether I thought he would actually show up, did some praying about it. I had decided if he showed I would accept his repayment and offer him our Bible which we keep on our counter, along with an explanation of how our riches on this earth are temporary, but God offers riches eternal, and offer to pray with him.
That was yesterday. So far, haven't seen him. So, I don't know - maybe I was a sucker. But sometimes it seems God guides you to do something and this is what I felt. I have prayed for this man, that if he was intent on scamming me that God would convict his heart and compel him to return and repay the money, which would give me a chance to witness to him.
I suppose I will just have to wait and see what happens...
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
What to Expect AFTER You're Expecting
We have recently welcomed our second grandchild. First by our daughter, and this one by our son. It is amazing to me that there is so much information to be gained via the internet and books about your pregnancy and your baby's growth during pregnancy, yet not much information is provided on "real life" after baby arrives. (I suspect this is because there would be considerably fewer babies if this information were provided first!)
It is truly an awe-inspiring miracle that a precious baby can be made by two people. It is God's plan to create a human being from a single fertilized cell. And the changes a baby makes in-utero are astounding. And no matter what you read and study, nothing, NOTHING, prepares you for what labor feels like. It is truly the most excruciating pain you will ever experience and the only consolation is knowing it can't last forever and will be over soon. With each contraction, you think the pain can't get any worse - and it does, again and again. I know now days everyone's up for the epidural, but I had two babies without anything, so I got to experience the whole wonderful thing, totally aware. And once that sweet baby is here, you realize all that pain and suffering was totally worth it. THIS is what you made! This is the person you wondered about for 9 months and finally, they are here! And the euphoria comes. Knowing that you "own" this little person. A person who will love you "just because" you are their mom. A person who will depend on you for their every need and want. There truly is no greater joy.
But there are a few hiccups in those first few weeks after the baby is here. Baby books say you may experience bouts of different emotions. That is an understatement, to say the least. They don't tell you that exhaustion will plague you until you think you can't do it anymore. If you could just sleep for more than 2 hours at a time. If you were well-rested, the crying and pooping would be easier to deal with. They don't tell you that every time you are so tired you couldn't be any MORE tired, you get more tired. And they don't tell you about the days you spend crying because you realize how inadequately equipped you are to deal with and be responsible for another's life. And the books tell you just how to establish a routine for feeding and sleeping, not understanding that as a mother, you can't bear to see this little baby cry and not know why and that you can't bear to make them wait to eat when you know they are hungry.
And they don't tell you about the panicked worries- what if they stop breathing? What if their head falls off? What if I trip and fall and smash the baby and kill it? What if I go to sleep for 10 minutes, and that's the 10 minutes they pick to roll off something? A million questions, a million doubts.
I watched my daughter do all the right things throughout her pregnancy, have a very tumultuous pregnancy, and her baby came 8 weeks early, with no explanation of what caused it. The baby spent a month in the NICU, which is also a journey no baby books tell you about. We learned terms we never wanted to know - apnea, stridor, reflux, surfactant. And I had no answers for her as to why 15 year-old party girls who don't even take care of themselves have perfectly healthy babies and she had a preemie. I could offer no comfort as she had to leave the hospital without her baby, sobbing. Each day as we walked to the NICU to visit our tube-entwined baby, we passed young silly girls leaving the hospital with their healthy babies - something that was not fair, but happened anyway.
And you basically lose your identity. All the fuss people made about you being pregnant is gone. Now, they could care less if you are there - they just want to know where the baby is. And just try to find time to shower and fix your hair. I remember thinking I would never be able to leave the house again! And when we finally did go somewhere, we might as well have rented a U-haul for all the stuff we took with us! The dads feel it too. Sleepless nights followed by days trying to stay awake at work. And their wife, who previously loved them, now hardly has time for anything except, "Can you get me a diaper?" They are now last on the list of priorities. Arguments and resentment ensue and only time will ease the tension.
There are so many things that only experience can teach you, although it might have been helpful if there were more "after" books and information available!
It is truly an awe-inspiring miracle that a precious baby can be made by two people. It is God's plan to create a human being from a single fertilized cell. And the changes a baby makes in-utero are astounding. And no matter what you read and study, nothing, NOTHING, prepares you for what labor feels like. It is truly the most excruciating pain you will ever experience and the only consolation is knowing it can't last forever and will be over soon. With each contraction, you think the pain can't get any worse - and it does, again and again. I know now days everyone's up for the epidural, but I had two babies without anything, so I got to experience the whole wonderful thing, totally aware. And once that sweet baby is here, you realize all that pain and suffering was totally worth it. THIS is what you made! This is the person you wondered about for 9 months and finally, they are here! And the euphoria comes. Knowing that you "own" this little person. A person who will love you "just because" you are their mom. A person who will depend on you for their every need and want. There truly is no greater joy.
But there are a few hiccups in those first few weeks after the baby is here. Baby books say you may experience bouts of different emotions. That is an understatement, to say the least. They don't tell you that exhaustion will plague you until you think you can't do it anymore. If you could just sleep for more than 2 hours at a time. If you were well-rested, the crying and pooping would be easier to deal with. They don't tell you that every time you are so tired you couldn't be any MORE tired, you get more tired. And they don't tell you about the days you spend crying because you realize how inadequately equipped you are to deal with and be responsible for another's life. And the books tell you just how to establish a routine for feeding and sleeping, not understanding that as a mother, you can't bear to see this little baby cry and not know why and that you can't bear to make them wait to eat when you know they are hungry.
And they don't tell you about the panicked worries- what if they stop breathing? What if their head falls off? What if I trip and fall and smash the baby and kill it? What if I go to sleep for 10 minutes, and that's the 10 minutes they pick to roll off something? A million questions, a million doubts.
I watched my daughter do all the right things throughout her pregnancy, have a very tumultuous pregnancy, and her baby came 8 weeks early, with no explanation of what caused it. The baby spent a month in the NICU, which is also a journey no baby books tell you about. We learned terms we never wanted to know - apnea, stridor, reflux, surfactant. And I had no answers for her as to why 15 year-old party girls who don't even take care of themselves have perfectly healthy babies and she had a preemie. I could offer no comfort as she had to leave the hospital without her baby, sobbing. Each day as we walked to the NICU to visit our tube-entwined baby, we passed young silly girls leaving the hospital with their healthy babies - something that was not fair, but happened anyway.
And you basically lose your identity. All the fuss people made about you being pregnant is gone. Now, they could care less if you are there - they just want to know where the baby is. And just try to find time to shower and fix your hair. I remember thinking I would never be able to leave the house again! And when we finally did go somewhere, we might as well have rented a U-haul for all the stuff we took with us! The dads feel it too. Sleepless nights followed by days trying to stay awake at work. And their wife, who previously loved them, now hardly has time for anything except, "Can you get me a diaper?" They are now last on the list of priorities. Arguments and resentment ensue and only time will ease the tension.
There are so many things that only experience can teach you, although it might have been helpful if there were more "after" books and information available!
Thursday, July 2, 2015
Welcome Addilyn!!!
This past week has been a whirlwind of activities and emotions!!! We have been waiting for grandbaby #2 to arrive, and the kids went twice to the hospital and were sent back home, but each time we were poised and ready, only to be told it wasn't time yet. None of us have slept well, waiting for that middle-of-the-night call to come to the hospital. Finally, the real call came! Early Monday morning, my son called at midnight to say they were on their way. Called back at 3:00 and said they were going to keep them, so away I went!
Mama labored until around 5:30 that evening and they decided with not much progress being made, they would do a C-section. So by around 5:50, we had a grandbaby!!! A big grandbaby - 8 lbs., 4 oz.!
So excited to watch as my baby boy gets to discover the joys of being a father, and the awe of knowing you created a little miracle! (As well as the sheer terror when they tell you that you have to take the baby home with you where there are no nurses or doctors at your beck and call!)
So, here are a few pictures of Miss Addilyn!
Mama labored until around 5:30 that evening and they decided with not much progress being made, they would do a C-section. So by around 5:50, we had a grandbaby!!! A big grandbaby - 8 lbs., 4 oz.!
So excited to watch as my baby boy gets to discover the joys of being a father, and the awe of knowing you created a little miracle! (As well as the sheer terror when they tell you that you have to take the baby home with you where there are no nurses or doctors at your beck and call!)
So, here are a few pictures of Miss Addilyn!
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